The sun poured into my window like a flowing stream
Its colors of orange and yellow bursting with gleam
I arose differently that day, as if I were on a cloud
No dark storm or aching pain could ever overcrowd
I swooped up the lace dress draped with jewels
Twirling and dancing as my feet hit against the toole
This day had finally come, the day I have dreamt
The man I was about to marry, who will forever bring my heart content
My life changing for the better, my heart at the fullest
My friend, my husband, my love of the purest bliss
I sat looking outside my frosted window; gazed upon a mother Sparrow with her babies
Three little beaks screeching loudly as they begged for their breakfast
I imagined what extremes the mother Sparrow must have taken to get her babies their meal
The brisk, cold winds cutting against her wings like shards of glass, or a hungered predator feasting his eyes on her elegant colors that enticed all creatures wide
Yet she pushed through bravely and boldly; determined to return to her kin to make sure their needs were met before her own
That’s the Savior’s love for you and I. It surpasses all human comprehension and breaks all the barriers of life.
That Sparrow would have gave her life if it meant her children were loved and cared for, so how much our Savior has the same love for us.
We become what we adore.
Isn’t that such a sinking statement? That whatever or whomever we invest our time into, we morph into what it is.
Some things can be full of life and vibrancy. Shaping our perspectives and growing our minds.
Others… can slowly, secretly, and painfully begin to kill us off. Until all that is left is our burnt ashes.
Adoration is a dangerous plateau. It makes our heart yearn after whatever or whomever we want to fulfill our desires. We can put a hold on things that once captured our hearts in a positive way.
Mine was walking outside watching the wind dance with the tree branches. I watched as the sky kissed the lake beside me, two lovers that no storm or skipping rock could break apart.
My mind became dark once I stopped seeking the light. That’s the thing about wandering, often times you begin to get lost. You can allow infatuated adoration consume your soul and churn your blood until it feels cold.
I’m ripping layers of sinful adoration off of my dry skin. New layers are being purified, hardened, and built with a tactical protection so that I can never latch onto what was trying to destroy me again.
I adore my Love, the One who saved my dead soul. He gave up His life so I could keep living mine. In His shadow I’ll forever be safe.
Dust. Dust swarms around all of us. It creates thick and clumpy colonies in the darkest parts of our homes. Observing dust we can see the tangled cobwebs and particles collected over time. I am writing about the dust because my heart has been encaged in it.
I have allowed my heart time and time again to slip into the silkiness of sin, at first feeling comfortable and beautiful, but then the silk starts to itch and stick to the bareness of my skin.
I couldn’t escape the cobwebs entangled in my soul. I wanted to run away. I wanted to do anything to make the pain stop. Some points at the end of last year I gambled how much my life was worth and considered ending it.
My breath began to sharpen like a knife.
My sight became foggy and unclear.
My skin cracked and bled.
I thought it was done. I thought this was the end. I thought my life had said its Adieu.
And through that blinding pain and array of silence… I felt the touch. A touch that was able to penetrate the gnawing agony drowning my brain.
I know the Lord has been patient with me. He has interceded through the stickiness of cobwebs in my soul. He’s breaking any fabricated thought the enemy has created and I have kept believing. I am pushing through this.
3….2….1…. *insert any noise here*
You may have just rang in the new year surrounded by good friends or loved ones, just anticipating that glowing ball on your tv screen to drop as your heart feels so much hope and relief that a new year is coming. 2018 has officially said its Adieu, and a clean slate has been established.
I know, myself, I was so happy, actually ecstatic to see 2018 end and 2019 begin. There is just a huge importance to factor… New Years Day isn’t just a holiday to drink blatantly or make one month commitments. It’s a new year, a new beginning, a free do over from any bad mistakes from the previous year.
You may have woke up and feel just the gnawing pain that 2018 brought upon you. Don’t fret…. God has you alive another year because He isn’t finished with your story. I wish you all the best year! A year of growth, success, love, forgiveness, and peace.
Love to all,
Melodie Rose Jordan
Author and Creator of melrosejordan.blog
For months all my eyes could see was darkness
The clouds kept growing heavier and grayer
Nothing seemed to penetrate the madness going inside my own heart
I desired Your warm embrace or any taste of sweetness
Yet you seemed so far off as I was becoming more somber
I ventured off to a place where I felt secure and vulnerable
Letting out despairing cries hoping You would draw near
As my legs became weak and my mind dishearten
Your presence swept in and brought forth unusual merriment
For the first time in months the darkness faded
My eyes overflowed as I gazed on my new scenery
It was a comforting light, not blinding to the eye
A new home being fully radiant and joy
“A person’s steps are directed by the LORD, and the LORD delights in his way.” “When he falls, he will not be thrown down headfirst because the LORD holds on to his hand.”
I am sure you find joy as much as I do when admiring a beautiful young child earnestly wanting to walk. They may not be graceful about it. They may fall face first or become weak in the knees very quickly, but yet again and again they just keep on trying. Does that ring a bell when it comes to our personal, spiritual walks?
If you have a personal relationship with Jesus (Hallelujah) then you have felt the fire burning passion when you were once first saved. Every where just seemed to be a bit more clear, for a moment. We would tackle some scriptures, walk around public with our tabbed saved bibles, and speak to homeless Joe on the street corner about the “everlasting life” we just found.
Then… BOOM! CRASH! Like takes a swing at our souls and shatters it like a crystal mirror. Each shard cutting us deeply, until we only can feel and think about our pain. We slum around, frantically searching for that spark we once had.
My friend…. this is how our walks are supposed to be down here. It’s not supposed to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. We’re going to have times where we have droughts, and times we have harvest.
But one thing to remember is: God is still God. He understands that we will falter and cannot possibly respond to life with “God abounding” reactions. But… in the times we do, He called that Stumbling Process.
So… if you’re stumbling right now, just keep on stumbling. You’ll make it with God. He directs our lives and lights the way for us. We need not to be afraid.