Sparrow

I sat looking outside my frosted window; gazed upon a mother Sparrow with her babies

Three little beaks screeching loudly as they begged for their breakfast

I imagined what extremes the mother Sparrow must have taken to get her babies their meal

The brisk, cold winds cutting against her wings like shards of glass, or a hungered predator feasting his on her elegant colors that enticed all creatures wide

Yet she pushed through bravely and boldly; determined to return to her kin to make sure their needs were met before her own

That’s the Savior’s love for you and I. It surpasses all human comprehension and breaks all the barriers of life.

That Sparrow would have gave her life if it meant her children were loved and cared for, so how much our Savior has the same love for us.

Adoration.

We become what we adore.

Isn’t that such a sinking statement? That whatever or whomever we invest our time into, we morph into what it is.

Some things can be full of life and vibrancy. Shaping our perspectives and growing our minds.

Others… can slowly, secretly, and painfully begin to kill us off. Until all that is left is our burnt ashes.

Adoration is a dangerous plateau. It makes our heart yearn after whatever or whomever we want to fulfill our desires. We can put a hold on things that once captured our hearts in a positive way.

Mine was walking outside watching the wind dance with the tree branches. I watched as the sky kissed the lake beside me, two lovers that no storm or skipping rock could break apart.

My mind became dark once I stopped seeking the light. That’s the thing about wandering, often times you begin to get lost. You can allow infatuated adoration consume your soul and churn your blood until it feels cold.

I’m ripping layers of sinful adoration off of my dry skin. New layers are being purified, hardened, and built with a tactical protection so that I can never latch onto what was trying to destroy me again.

I adore my Love, the One who saved my dead soul. He gave up His life so I could keep living mine. In His shadow I’ll forever be safe.

Fabricated.

Dust. Dust swarms around all of us. It creates thick and clumpy colonies in the darkest parts of our homes. Observing dust we can see the tangled cobwebs and particles collected over time. I am writing about the dust because my heart has been encaged in it.

I have allowed my heart time and time again to slip into the silkiness of sin, at first feeling comfortable and beautiful, but then the silk starts to itch and stick to the bareness of my skin.

I couldn’t escape the cobwebs entangled in my soul. I wanted to run away. I wanted to do anything to make the pain stop. Some points at the end of last year I gambled how much my life was worth and considered ending it.

My breath began to sharpen like a knife.

My sight became foggy and unclear.

My skin cracked and bled.

I thought it was done. I thought this was the end. I thought my life had said its Adieu.

And through that blinding pain and array of silence… I felt the touch. A touch that was able to penetrate the gnawing agony drowning my brain.

I know the Lord has been patient with me. He has interceded through the stickiness of cobwebs in my soul. He’s breaking any fabricated thought the enemy has created and I have kept believing. I am pushing through this.

2019… Don’t View it As Just a Holiday.

3….2….1…. *insert any noise here*

You may have just rang in the new year surrounded by good friends or loved ones, just anticipating that glowing ball on your tv screen to drop as your heart feels so much hope and relief that a new year is coming. 2018 has officially said its Adieu, and a clean slate has been established.

I know, myself, I was so happy, actually ecstatic to see 2018 end and 2019 begin. There is just a huge importance to factor… New Years Day isn’t just a holiday to drink blatantly or make one month commitments. It’s a new year, a new beginning, a free do over from any bad mistakes from the previous year.

You may have woke up and feel just the gnawing pain that 2018 brought upon you. Don’t fret…. God has you alive another year because He isn’t finished with your story. I wish you all the best year! A year of growth, success, love, forgiveness, and peace.

Love to all,

Melodie Rose Jordan

Author and Creator of melrosejordan.blog

Radiant

For months all my eyes could see was darkness

The clouds kept growing heavier and grayer

Nothing seemed to penetrate the madness going inside my own heart

I desired Your warm embrace or any taste of sweetness

Yet you seemed so far off as I was becoming more somber

I ventured off to a place where I felt secure and vulnerable

Letting out despairing cries hoping You would draw near

As my legs became weak and my mind dishearten

Your presence swept in and brought forth unusual merriment

For the first time in months the darkness faded

My eyes overflowed as I gazed on my new scenery

It was a comforting light, not blinding to the eye

A new home being fully radiant and joy

Stumbling Progress

“A person’s steps are directed by the LORD, and the LORD delights in his way.” “When he falls, he will not be thrown down headfirst because the LORD holds on to his hand.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:23‬-24

I am sure you find joy as much as I do when admiring a beautiful young child earnestly wanting to walk. They may not be graceful about it. They may fall face first or become weak in the knees very quickly, but yet again and again they just keep on trying. Does that ring a bell when it comes to our personal, spiritual walks?

If you have a personal relationship with Jesus (Hallelujah) then you have felt the fire burning passion when you were once first saved. Every where just seemed to be a bit more clear, for a moment. We would tackle some scriptures, walk around public with our tabbed saved bibles, and speak to homeless Joe on the street corner about the “everlasting life” we just found.

Then… BOOM! CRASH! Like takes a swing at our souls and shatters it like a crystal mirror. Each shard cutting us deeply, until we only can feel and think about our pain. We slum around, frantically searching for that spark we once had.

My friend…. this is how our walks are supposed to be down here. It’s not supposed to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. We’re going to have times where we have droughts, and times we have harvest.

But one thing to remember is: God is still God. He understands that we will falter and cannot possibly respond to life with “God abounding” reactions. But… in the times we do, He called that Stumbling Process.

So… if you’re stumbling right now, just keep on stumbling. You’ll make it with God. He directs our lives and lights the way for us. We need not to be afraid.

Out of the Depths.

Tonight I was reading some wonderful insights on how to cope with anxiety through a spiritual sense when I read within the article this verse: With you [God] there is true forgiveness, so that you may be held in awe,” says Psalm 130:4. I was drawn into that verse deeply so I wanted to look more into it and the title of this beautiful song is called, “Out of the Depths.” I started to tear up a bit because that is exactly how I have felt the last through days. God has led into some deep waters, just watching me treading and freaking out basically. I have developed an irrational amount of anxiety and I have felt like there has been no escape.

I really would like to break this psalm down piece by piece so I can vividly express to you exactly how my life, and maybe even yours relates back to it.

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!
    O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
    to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

So I can imagine you must have read this with a stabbing feeling straight to the gut, right? This is kind of  what happens when we allow sin to overlap the presence of our Lord. Sin lures us deeper and deeper into dark waters; our eyes are not even paying attention to what our feet are cutting on as we shed our Saviors’ love he willingly poured out into our dying souls. Then once we realize we have ventured off too deep, we begin to panic. Our hearts become weak, our minds begin to wander off into millions of directions.

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
    O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
    that you may be feared.

We lose sight of God, when in reality He never leaves our sides. EVER. I had this happen to me….I had to allow so much pain and fear fester into my heart, so I could completely surrender it over to God and allow the proper healing to start in my life. I needed His relentless mercy.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
    more than watchmen for the morning,
    more than watchmen for the morning.

I love this imagery used by the psalmist about how our souls earnestly wait for the Lord as the watchmen wait for the morning. This is an example from the Elliot Commentaries for English Readers about watchmen waiting for dawn:Watch for the morning.—Comp. Psalm 123:2 for another figure of the same earnest upward gaze. In the “watcher for the dawn” there may be an allusion to the Levite-sentinel whose duty it was to signal the first ray of dawn, and the moment for commencing the sacred rites of the Temple (Psalm 134:1), but the figure if general, as marking the impatience of a deeply agitated soul—a sufferer waiting for relief, a contrite sinner for forgiveness—is as striking as graceful. (See Deuteronomy 28:67.)”  

We all go through the season of waiting. Our souls long for the things we think we desperately need in this EXACT moment, when in reality God’s timing is higher, better, and will last forever. Take heart my friend, God is carrying you out of the depths.