Waiting is REALLY Worth It

I remember that day vividly. On a warm summer evening in July, I was feeling a sudden inspiration all the while being over cumbered with grief from a broken relationship, to start a blog. I excitedly texted my good friend Jinny that I would turn my aching pain into words for a part of my story and she couldn’t have been more thrilled for me. Writing really is a coping mechanism for me to release stubborn emotions. I frantically searched and found multiple sites on how to set up a blog, etc. I picked a site, a name, and what my writing would be based on. I then took it to the next level and clicked on the plus icon to start my first post!

That’s when it hit me.

I knew what I had to write about. I suddenly felt less excited and more anxious and sad. If I were to get my message out there as well as my emotions, I knew I was going to have to face them.

I had to re-experience the pain, anger, fear, and sadness I felt about that broken relationship and to find a way to put them into words and share it with strangers. That was NOT an easy thing to do. I knew I had to turn to God and pray my heart out about it. As time went on, my heart was letting go a lot of intense emotion and I felt an overwhleming peace about my past.

I wrote about my pain and how I coped with it (only through the power of Jesus Christ). I wrote about the seasons I had experienced: my love season with God and the importance of singleness, the pain with dating and to watch out for wolves in sheep clothing, and eventually about my season of severe depression and where I considered suicide last year.

This post today is a loving one. A post that reminds my heart why I started this blog in the first place. I’m sitting here at my black kitchen table with a mason jar full of sweet tea, glancing over at my husband of almost 2 months, just thanking Abba Father above that every tearful, daunting, dark nights I cried from sadness, the days screaming in my car full of anger, and praying and worshiping until my lungs almost collapsed led to this: waiting is REALLY worth it.

I found the love I was looking for in a person, but it goes beyond that. I found someone whom I love getting to drink coffee with every single morning. Whom I love getting to pick groceries and figure out a budget plan with every month. A love that lasts more than a Sunday. 3 years ago I was broken, lost, and then found me. I fell in love with being alone and enjoying me. Now, I fell in love with my husband and never want to be without him.

“Everything In Its’ Time.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan.

 There is a special time for everything. There is a time for everything that happens under heaven. There is a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pick what is planted. There is a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. There is a time to cry, and a time to laugh; a time to have sorrow, and a time to dance. There is a time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to kiss, and a time to turn from kissing. There is a time to try to find, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away. There is a time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; a time to be quiet, and a time to speak. There is a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

I remember one July afternoon, my mom just came home from shopping around at yard sales she use to do every Saturday morning, as early as the sun rose up. I was sitting in my room, painting my nails with some bright pink nail polish, when she excitedly entered my room with a cute little pillow. There was a scripture verse sown right in the middle, along with some purple buttons and butterflies that said: “God makes ALL things beautiful.” Around that time, I was suffering severely with in-confidence, so I took the pillow politely and did not think much of it. I mean, it went along with my bed set, but the words did not settle into my heart the way it should have. 

Besides looks, my personal life was not an example of beauty either. I got my heart broken, people at school were bullying me, and I acted in a way young girls should not. Now that I am older, I look back at that pillow and wished secretly that my young teenage self would have gotten smacked in the head! I was behaving so selfishly and did not take the time to go to God about why I did not heed His wise counsel. 

What season are you in today? Are you in a fruitful season? Have you been bearing your fruit so heavily that others are feeding off your peace and goodness? Or are you in a drought season? Shuffling around to plant your “spiritual seeds” while looking up at the sky asking, “Okay God, are you going to pour down some heavenly waters soon?!” Let me tell you something friend, good season or bad, every season is a gift. You may have read this with a puzzled look. Let’s continue reading a little more of Ecclesiastes 3:  What does the worker get for his work? I have seen the work which God has given the sons of men to do. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has put thoughts of the forever in man’s mind, yet man cannot understand the work God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:9-11.

There is your answer, my dear friend! The hard work we put into our “Season” God makes it beautiful. The dry, dirt soil you see in your life garden may not look like anything now, but after being obedient to God and trusting in His name, He will pour down His rain and make sure your life garden is full of many fulfilling fruits that will sustain you and help you to grow. Today, if you are struggling to keep working out in your own garden, seek out Him. Pray for wisdom and strength to fill your heart and to rekindle your desire to want to work for God again. Not only will you be benefited, but others who are struggling with the same problem will also.