“How I learned to smile in the midst of agony.” 

I am aware I have shared my story of how I overcame the pain of last storm I endured. I just find it very important to express the lesson I’m wanting to share: you can still choose to smile in the midst of agony. I’m sure there are some eyes reading this feeling heavy, tired, and wanting them closed forever. Before you click the exit button of this blog, friend, just leave with these words: your past doesn’t define you. Your pain isn’t your thoughts. Your sadness isn’t your feelings. Your anger isn’t your heart. 

If you just endured a heavy burden, I understand that these words may have just went over your head completely. Go through the process of anger, denial, and sadness. It is okay to feel like getting out of bed is the hardest thing. It’s okay that looking at your blank phone screen makes you feel hollow. It is okay to miss that person who you never thought would walk away. But, it is not okay to stay in that dark place. Clouds cover the sun at times, but it still does its work to keep shining it’s light and work. So should we. I went through a trial of isolation. This isolation was beyond difficult. 

There were moments I felt like I had everything, and more moments I felt like nothing. There were times where being at the grocery store was too much work for one day. I always felt like I needed to be with someone. I usually tried my best to stay as far away from my room because being alone frightened me. Instead of running away from loneliness, I delved into it. I became friends with myself. I started to take walks in nature, write poetry and blogs, and be more organized. I started to see myself the way I should have: beautiful, kind, and enough. The more time I spent alone, the more God made home my heart. 

Up until now I have been so content with me. I always have found my security and self worth in men. Now I find it through me. I learned how to love others the way I want to be loved. I learned more about my flaws and how to cope with them. I learned to be happy with what I have, instead of dwelling what I lost. And you, my beautiful friend, can have that same luxury. You can see past your pain, and smile

“My Baptism.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan. 

The day appeared. I awoke that Sunday morning with a smile on my face and a beautiful hymn humming in my brain. My heart fluttered at the thought of the event I was about to embark on. I entered that wonderful church, stepped into the pool, and before I knew it, my body submerged into the water and I came up as a wet, but redeemed person. 

My baptism that occurred only two weeks ago was the best day of my life. I can’t help but to replay the whole day in my head. Dozens of embracing hugs and thoughtful messages given to me. My beautiful family sitting in the front row, showing their love and support. Most of all, being so connected with my glorious God. This baptism is HUGE to me because it symbolized just how far I’ve come. I went through the desert season, the rainy season, the lost season, the pain agonizing season, to finally reach my season now: peace. All I have is peace, compassion, and gratitude. There isn’t a single day that has passed within this year that I wish I didn’t go through. I am so honored to have gone through the loss, because I would have never been truly found. I am happy. I am a Christ follower. I am living loved. 


Desperate Times Do Not Call for Desperate Measures.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan. 

I have a question to ask you friends: what do you do in desperate situations. You know the situations that keep you up late at night because your mind will refuse to stop running. The situations where you try to make up plan after plan only watch each one of them fail. I have often times in my own life just choose to run away from my adversities, and I have ended up in the hands of the enemy. Can you relate? 

Tonight I want us to read in 1 Samuel 27, where David is caught in the midst of his own desperate time. He has been on the run from Saul, the envious king. David hasn’t been relying on God or even speaking of him. David has began to rely on himself, which is the beginning on the road to destruction: “But David kept thinking to himself, “Someday Saul is going to get me. The best thing I can do is escape to the Philistines. Then Saul will stop hunting for me in Israelite territory, and I will finally be safe.” ‭1 Samuel‬ ‭27:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I have mentioned before that I was neck deep into pornography. At the time, I thought that was the only oulet open to me The evil desires it caused made me forget this reality and I entered a new one. A one where I felt safe and pleasures. Exactly what David felt when he made his home in Gath; the home of Goliath. How could David possibly think this was a good plan?! Here are six points to keep in mind about David’s close minded choices and what choices God wants us to make: 

1) we will have a season of drought, but we should not remain there. Trust that God will send the rain.
2) depend on God to get us through our adversities 

3) in some situations, we think it’s best to run (our own perspective) instead of remaining still (god’s perspective). 

4) our disobedience can end with on a price on our own life and our generations to come.

5) we can find comfort in earthly pleasure and the “easy road instead of trusting God in the narrow road

6) we can often take safety with the enemy because it’s often more “convenient”

One statement to keep in mind: “Desperate times do not call for desperate measures. They call for prayerful measures.” You and I are going to go through drought seasons. Seasons that will challenge our faith, our minds, and our bodies. But are we going to find life again through Christ, or are we going to continue plotting our own deaths? Our choices always come with consequences, but God is still there in the midst of it all. He still wants to provide us His strength and for us to find him again in our darkest hour. 

“David was now in great danger because all his men were very bitter about losing their sons and daughters, and they began to talk of stoning him. But David found strength in the Lord his God.” ‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭30:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Authenticity of the Gospel.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan. 

Galatians is such an important book in the Word of God. It symbolizes what we are following: God, not man. Paul wrote many letters to Galatians churches, explaining his change through Christ. Before Paul became a christian, he was a devote Jew to the Jewish law. He religiously followed all the rules and believed in circumcision. The law he followed was based on deeds, not faith. After being saved, Paul realized that what he followed for his whole life was just a lie. Paul went beyond himself to proclaim Christ and to show people that the only thing he wanted to do was share the gospel. 

There is Only One Good News: “I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to himself through the loving mercy of Christ. You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who deliberately twist the truth concerning Christ.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:6-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Paul’s Message Comes from Christ: “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Dear brothers and sisters, I want you to understand that the gospel message I preach is not based on mere human reasoning. I received my message from no human source, and no one taught me. Instead, I received it by direct revelation from Jesus Christ.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:10-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We Are to Consantly Share Jesus’s Name: “After that visit I went north into the provinces of Syria and Cilicia. And still the churches in Christ that are in Judea didn’t know me personally. All they knew was that people were saying, “The one who used to persecute us is now preaching the very faith he tried to destroy!” And they praised God because of me.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:21-24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Our purpose in life is to give God the glory He deserves. Everything we accomplish is through His power. We were once goats, fumbling around, bullying the weak, and obesessing over our own likings. But now, Jesus calls us His sheep. Sheep always stay in the herd. They don’t stray. When one gets lost, the sheep always will find its way back to the Sheppard. Because the Sheppard loves His sheep dearly. 

Preaching the gospel is the only way to Christ. It glorifies Him! It is the truth! The truth will set everyone free! Our man made laws and rituals only sastify our temptations and glorify us. We should not call ourselves a slave for Christ if we live in that way. I pray for you all today you all will understand the true meaning of the gospel, which is we are all saved by Jesus alone. 

“Joy in Suffering.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan. 

There’s that word I’m using again: suffering. I know I am probably making someone’s face cringe and heart rate quicken, but it’s so important in living for Christ is we’re called to suffer for Him as well. Jesus willingly took our painful ransom so we all could have unity with Heaven once again. But, why should we suffer if Jesus already has? Today, we will be studying Philippians Chapter One. Paul wrote this letter while in chains in Philippi, as a warm and loving thank you to those who are spreading the gospel of Jesus (now linking back to us). 

Paul’s purpose in writing this letter was to show the Philippians that even though he was imprisoned for sharing about Jesus, he still chose to seek the joy in it. Paul also counseled about those who are speaking about Jesus through rivalry and self righteousness, instead of humility and unity. Here are three key points to take from this chapter. 

We are in community, not incongruity: “I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NLT

This verse is so important because Paul is stating one main factor of believing in Jesus: constantly in communion with others, not isolation. We attend church to praise, give, and pray for each other. We invite our girls over to have some Jesus filling memories and to grow with one another. We seek out spiritual counsel when we are at the short end of our faith. If we only confide with God in our quiet time, and then go out into the world with a blank expression, how are people supposed to know that the powerful God is living inside our very hearts?! 

Living a bold life, not an ashamed life for Christ: “And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Paul is literally in chains at this moment, expressing his joy for his slavement for Christ. What a bold statement! I want that so badly! Paul is encouraging us here that if he can fid faith, joy, and contement in Christ, even though he knows he is going to be imprisoned and eventually killed for the cause of Christ, we should feel encouraged to the same! This life is temporary! No relationship, no occupation, not one thing will satisfy our hearts the way God can. He has promised us eternal life through Jesus Christ. That makes me want to venture out into the streets and proclaiming His love to every being I pass by! It is something I never want to live without! 

Our suffering is His glory: “We are in this struggle together. You have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that I am still in the midst of it.” Philippians‬ ‭1:30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My beautiful friends, we are suffering together. We are slaves of righteousness together. We are all bound in God’s forgiveness together. We no longer need to fear the feelings of loneliness or rejection. We are all apart of the body of Christ. When one falls, we all help pick them back up. When one is weak, we all pray that God will strengthen them again. I hope this has encouraged you today! God bless! ❤🌈

“The Day I Really Found Love.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬Coming into the life of singleness, I was like how most people are: scared, angry, lonely, and broken. There were a lot of restless nights, and empty chest feeling days. I longed for that person from time to time, and things didn’t end well at all at the time. But that’s when God began His work. He wanted to show me what real love really is. 
I know most people don’t look back on a day where a long term relationship ended as a good thing, but that’s the only way I can express my situation. It has been a year already that I chose to walk into a path unknown, just like Ruth. And it has been the best decision I have ever made. 

As months went by, I entered a season of isolation. I had to cut off all of my past in order for me to really focus on God. I spent day and night in prayer, and that is actually when I started to get deep into blogging. I fell in love with reading again, and I began to really learn just who Jesus really is. Also, I found a quote that has stuck by me: “I want to be a woman that finishes well.” That quote pushed me into losing weight. I ventured out and found a nearby lake that had a four mile track. I was intimidated at first, but I slowly adjusted to the length of the walk, and I have been going ever since. I have lost 30 pounds so far. 

What message I’m really trying to say here is, I know my worth. I know I am loved. I know that I can be happy, independent, and mature without being in a man’s shadow. I learned so much about myself. I used to be mentally/spiritually immature, I used to be close minded about learning and trying new things, I used to be so lazy, I used to hold grudges and refused to forgive, but I learned that forgiveness is a key in setting yourself free. I learned about loving others more than yourself. I learned about praying for your enemies, even if they are causing you nothing but pain. But, most of all, I used to be so far from God and His endless love for me. I know God had me go through this year for me to understand that I am more than what any man I’ve been with tells me. I am grateful for the pain, I am grateful for the loss, and I am grateful for the lonlieness. My heart has developed a different kind of love. I am so blessed to have really found Jesus. 

“Do Not Forget God During the Good Times.” By: Melodie Rose Jordan. 

“Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands.” Deuteronomy‬ ‭8:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬I was reading this chapter today for one reason: reminding my heart not to forget God through this new chapter. On Tuesday, I had the privilege of receiving a full time job I have been wanting for almost 3 years now. I had many nights on my knees, my nose stuck in verses, tears falling onto my pillow case, trusting in God and His endless promises. Well, He came through for me once again and today I caught myself feeling a certain way: prideful. I began to look around and slowly my mind said: “hmph. Why keep trying in this place, Mel? You got the job. You only have a number of days left? You are much better than them! Why other?” As the enemy was working away in my mind, God was working within my heart. 

Deuteronomy 8 is about reminding the slaves saved from the Israelites not to become boastful in themselves. For forty years God fed them, clothed them, and protected them from outside sources and the natural changes. I love verse three because this pertains to us as well: “Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” ‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭8:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬ 

There is not one inch of goodness in our hearts that doesn’t come from God. Sure, we can do good acts, help others, and show compassion. But, where does it come from? Jesus. We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19It is so easy for us to get caught up in our emotions and successes and forget God. We can become prideful and claim it is our own works. This is a dangerous way to live! God detest the pride and punishes them! It shows we have no fear in God, the creator of all, and we can do everything on our own power. 

“So obey the commands of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and fearing him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land of flowing streams and pools of water, with fountains and springs that gush out in the valleys and hills.” ‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭8:6-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬ 

My friends, if you are feeling the way I felt earlier today, ask yourself this question: Am I completely relying on God and praising Him for the goodness in my life, or do I believe it is me that provides? This is such a life or death question. It determines your faith in God. Do not forget God is the one who saved you, God is the one who sacrificed His own son for our ransom, God is the lord over all, and His mighty works are endless. Always remain in a humble spirit, for that is where God will always be. I pray you remind you heart and praise God for everything He has provided, especially in the good times. 🦋🌈❤